this day has come and its kind of nice, i think. TODAY'S OFICIALLY THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL and i have just finished my general paper block test today. yes, was kind of worried today. as usual met abigial in school early to revise and read more into GP. wrote about whether children helps to strengthen a marraige. not too bad i hope and comprehension was about good teachers(: i really pray that i have good teachers. and early in the morning, abigial had just reminded me through someone that my morning is my peace time! dont you ever dare try to make me pissed in the morning because you shall die! thank god, i appreciate each new day..
went on to singapore poly for some NDP talk thing from the NDP EXCO. went with dhanesh, priscilla and someone which i cant remember the name. haha. although i thought it was boring but thanks to dhanesh and priscilla, it was kind of interesting and self-entertaining. we laugh at anything and everything! mr lim was super nice to send us there and to help us think of some ideas and send us back to north again. thanks loads(:
tomorrow have to report for some coporal's camp and it will be my first time not being a girl.. haha. its gonna be interesting because i do not have to wear full u anymore. YEAH! and i will be playing piano for the devotion thing and i hope that i can make it. beacuse until now, at this last moment, i do not even have the score to practice it. i feel so insecure and sorry. i really pray for GOD's help and blessing huh. alright. i have to pack my bag and thank goodness my menses is over! i hate having cramps and all in camp. its just plain disgusting!
something stupid that i did yesterday. i was screaming at joshua for dunno whatever reason- just felt like shouting at someone. i wanted to say 'you dont think you fat i scared of you hor' and i ended up screaming 'you dont think you scared i fat of you hor!' OMG! that was the most embarassing moment in my life. well. i realised i have some problem speaking much less scolding someone. i cant speak fluently now. i dunno why. but thanks loads joshua, you shall always be the one that i will scold. i will practice scolding on you!
i am feeling so patriotic after the NDP talk thing and i so want to dress up in red and go for national day parade this year. i seriously cant wait till that day. singapore is my homeland and this is where i belong.... blahblahblah! haha! i want the fun BAG and all the food inside. i want sing the national day songs and i want to see the parade and say the pledge and sing the national anthem. notice, i was never so loyal to singapore. yeah, good job wenyan(:
alright. i shall stop crapping for the day and start doing my stuff and get ready to watch 'crimewatch' on the television. and please do not forget. just in case there is some stupid nuclear war and i die, i want a white coffin and sweet pink roses(:
BYEBYE!
love,
WenYan(:<3
5:00 AM
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
i am in the ever boring and stupid school again and since i have a break, i shall talk more. haha!
I HATE MATHS as usual and i hate it more when i see the comment on LMS. It says: 'Wen Yan must try to stay focused during lessons as she looks tired and has the tendency to doze off. She is also strongly encouraged to find time to clarify her doubts with her tutor.' yup. this is from the stupid maths tutor which is super ugly and irritating. i shall not say who is this person to prevent blog pollution. yes, ugly and irritating. FOR YOUR INFORMATION I HATE MATHS AND ONLY DURING MATHS LESSON I WOULD CHOOSE TO TURN OFF BECAUSE I HATE MATHS ANDI HATE YOU! i cant imagine maths used to be my fav subject and i so loved mr hui and all his funny actions but yes, here i am hating maths now.
i dunno what i should write here now and i think i am just simply posting rubbish and wasting my time here. so yup, shall post more when i get home. i am so waiting for this week to end with all the test exams, datelines and camps. i am so so so tired and i want to sleep!
byes for now as i die in this school):
love,
WenYan(:<3
6:36 PM
there's so much things that had went on in my life that i dont know how to express simply because, it all revolves around the same issue. its just me and my brains. rights, shall start off with something more happy and nice...
went for this republic poly adventure race and yes, my team was #124(:
newest and coolest- Body Marking Although we got nothing but this is like COP
and the nice green shirt(:
thanks kevin and adrain. especially adrain. you are simply nice and fantastic. you're great team member and thank you very much for this chance to work with you. had much fun with chinrong's and bryan's team as well! met alot of people like joyce, jinshi and jason neo on that day itself. it was really mentally and physically draining!
sunday was not feeling well- mentally and physically. yes. it was a tough day because i miss hugs. i really do. i miss those times i wish to say but i just cant. abigial was super nice and yanling too. thanks for all your words of console and waking me up. thank GOD for friends.
monday was super tiring and drenching i dunno why but i am super drained. reached home early but had to nap because i felt like fainting. sorry yanling. promised to study with you but didnt make it. i don't like to feel unconfortable in my heart. its just plain torturing. yes, pure pain. piano lesson was nice because i begged ms koh to tell her students not to go to my college and not to make a lifetime regret.
today's tuesday and i dunno why i am a little happy today till the end of the econs period. i was laughing till i felt orange's presence but fading away. i dunno how to put that feeling into words and felt like tearing but cant too. yes, had to try. studied with yanling in the library which is super nice. thanks friend. because you are always so amazing(: thanks dear. homed with kennedy and fairoz and yanling. it was fun and everything. now i am currently supposed to work hard and do loads of revision but yes, here i am, not doing it. GOD please save me!
okay. i am dying here and i really want a little hug from you. why is it real life so different from the television shows? tell me why. i really envy the couples on television shows which are so romantic and so sweet. yup. back to dreaming again.
till then, take care kids (:
love,
WenYan(:<3
7:04 AM
Thursday, May 21, 2009
HI PEOPLE! okay.. loads of things happen but i can't really remember all. haha. really wished for a camera so i can have loads of pics all around and show you ugly things in my school..
school's really fun with abigial and all her stupid expressions with her short figure. haha! yesterday was quite nice because i got to go to archery with yanling and talked loads loads to her about many many things. yanling, although you are super irritating and stupid at times, you're a really good friend(: heheh. love your comments. bestie was there as well and yep, all the best friend! i still hope that you will walk to sch with us.. as yanling suggested we shall make a nice towel for ourselves okay?! love gossiping with you guys(: went on to gb meeting in chong pang and yeah, the people were quite nice i think. hope i will have a nice camp(:
today was as usual the most dready day of the week but hah! i wasnt as sleepy as all the other thursday. and ms ng although i always think you are irritating, i really appreciate all the hardwork you have done for us. its just me. yep. and our EXOTIC teacher mr tay would be leaving us as well, so all the best sg23, we'll try to work hard! haha. ran 2.4 today and i almost died of my back pain. yes, joleena and ruiling, the mouse scampers! haha!
currently, i have loads and loads of homework to do and i havent touched them yet. i am thinking about some things and thinking of watching some shows. you guys better keep reminding me to study okay!((:
i will try to put more stuff here for entertainment huh... shall have my dinner. till then, byebye(:
love,
WenYan(:<3
3:50 AM
Monday, May 18, 2009
I HATE MATHS, SERIOUSLY.
i don't understand why but i wasn't such a loser seriously. maths was one of my strongest subject and now its the worse subject. now i wonder what my future have for me.
School as usual and it was dready Monday.. walked to school with Yanling and it was really nice dear(: she always brightens up my day and HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!(:
then i got pissed off by some idiot that really spoilt my day and yeah, it just give me a worse impression of you, seriously. and btw, you stink!
breaked with abi and joshua. you are really cute and funny guys(: hah! FYI, Joshua is much better than that idiot. CSE-ed and went home for piano lesson.
i don't know why i am writing so much nonsense that is so insignificant to my life but yes, all i want is a good sleep. i really needed one badly.
Hug you tight(:
love,
WenYan(:<3
7:07 AM
Thursday, May 14, 2009
okay hi world, sorry i've been super super busy and tired plus a little PMS so i think that's why i didn't update so far. so many things have happened and many this week and i feel i have kinda changed. yes, let the pictures do the talking first...
My gorgeous cousin and aunty!
All the Chinese traditions and customs...
Putting on make-up for the 2nd time of my life
( 1st time using mascara(: )
8 sisters((:
This is how tough it has been for him to enter this house!
Take on such unglam moments before you can see the bride!
Cousins((:
WE'RE COUSINS!
the pretty united(:
P.S. i want to wear this on my big day too!
The aunties and mum..
Clison!
uncles and DAD! HERE WE ARE! the beauty forever(:
Look at Clison's face when dad ATTEMPTED TO CARRY HIM..
My ever nice 4th Uncle, STAY CHEERFUL!!
now he looks like the thailand PM yeah? ahah!
and last pic at RENDEZVOUS(:
now, it been so many days and yup, i have finally though about it a little. i'll still keep to my promise and wait for that day to come(:
yesterday was the ever boring sports day and it was fun having ppl trying to climb out through the fence and how my principal shouted at us this morning. heheh! no worries, as a good girl, it won't be me lah! haha(:
alright, just finished my maths test and had got pissed with C^2 in school. i pray...
and last but not least, a surprise: (Look at Clison, amazingly cute!)
Till then, goodbye(:
love,
WenYan(:<3
4:16 AM
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
hi world! i don't knwo how i am feeling now and why i am not doing my work but blogging here. there's so much for me to do. so much for me to study and so much for me to revise. i am really super tired of it. and perhaps, half my heart have given up already. seriously.
rights, i attended cousin's wedding on 10th May and had quite some pics. shall show you guys next time okay? and yesterday was a horrible day because i was having an internal war with myself. yep. with myself. thanks dear for clarifying things and i hope i'll think it through(: today was irritating too because simply, i have to go to school. yeah.
okay, before my mood for doing hmwk fades away, i shall listen to my own advise and start doing my work. sorry world, i'm pretty busy now so not alot of time to entertain you guys on my boring life but yes, i will, one day. haha! i know its dreadful but LETS PRAY FOR FRIDAY TO COME SOON!
Cya guys around! Take care and rest well(:
BYE((:
love,
WenYan(:<3
5:37 AM
Saturday, May 9, 2009
okayokay. i 'm sitting in front of this comp now because the weather is killing me. wanted to blog much about yesterday but was too tired so i went to sleep. basically, i went to the temple, prayed, eat SHOPPED and went home. it was seriously tiring man! although it was just a simple temple visit it was enough to kill me.
yesterday was a a day before vesak day and many daoist believer like my family would rush to the temple. thankfully, not alot of ppl were there, maybe because of the swine flu! walking pass all those reminds me how much i wanted to bring orange there, just to experience such an atmosphere and to learn more about what i usually do, but yes, i know, its kind of impossible now. anyway, below's a little bit of photo. shopped off my unahppiness a little, by buying a BAG!
TADA! my new nike bag(: LOVE THE COLOUR!
and i noticed there's a place to put my shoes!(:
well, this morning, went for tuition and sat with Jonathon and Luiza((: OMG Luiza, long time no see! miss you much(: and went to buy pendants for cousin's wedding tomorrow. OH YES! and mum bought nail paint for me! hah! I"VE LONG NAILS. rights, off to do my stuff and shall post some pics up as soon as possible. HOPE FOR TOMORROW!
HAPPY VESAK DAY friends!(:
love,
WenYan(:<3
12:21 AM
Thursday, May 7, 2009
i don't understand life. bullshit. ask me if i am contented with life, i am not. i am totally not. life is totally horrible. i am very tired. tired of maths, tired of eating, tired of sleeping, tired of breathing and basically, tired of living. maybe i was just a innocent girl in the past who keep on holding on to the hope that life is great- when i am small, i will be loved by family. when i grow up, i will find someone nice and marry and perhaps have children and live happily ever after. i realised, i'mwrong.
mummy used to tell me, study hard girl. and you will have a good job, find a nice family, and lead a happy life. i think perhaps, i have no chance. it was a disaster to bring children into this world. it is some creation that caused me to be here and to have to go through such shit. i don't understand, and i don't want to understand. i seriously don't.
you know when i do the simplest thing, i just can't divert my attention. simply sitting down and watching the television, i just feel horrible. looking at how the couples encourages each other by a simple hug. i guess, i may never have this chance anymore. yup, or i would have to say, i confirm, i will never get this feeling ever again. i have promised, i will honour my words.
i cannot control myself anymore. its not difficult, but impossible. if things go on better from here, perhaps, i will finish my studies and adopt a child. everything is gone, every hope is gone. i don't know where to carry on. cousin's wedding is on sunday, as one of her bridesmaid, i just don't feel like how i am supposed to be. i guess, that's the only chance for me to dress up and look closest to my dream day.
and, remember, if i die one day, i would really want roses and not chrysathemums. i want a white coffin and a pretty white gown. i want you to celebrate with me. i pray.
Dear GOD,
i need strength, i need you. i just needed that confirmation. take me away please,i beg of you, dear lord. i am thankful for all this experiences. i will keep to my promise lord.
Amen.
love,
WenYan(:<3
8:44 PM
Monday, May 4, 2009
today's a MONDAY again.. i so so so hoped that i will get swine flu and probably i can not go to school. i bet no one can sense how much i really hate going to school. first thing in the morning, i have decided to meet yanling earlier but i was such a loser! I CAN'T FIND MY PURSE): and worse of all, grandma had to talk negative stuff about my cousin, early in the morning. i really hate it and worse still, its the 1st hour of the morning! the irritating bus took ages to come and made me late instead! all in all, 1st hour of morning was BAD.
haha. shared porridge with abi. we had only like less than 10 mins to finish that up. we were like so not feminine eating it lah! How nice, if i were sharing it with orange. hm. during maths, had my med and fell into a mini coma. many many things happen and had to study for dready maths. OMG, i really have to bear with science subj for ages mann! WENYAN LOVES HUMANITIES! Econs was great and we amazingly acted normally with Ms Aminah around. last but not least, had the stupid maths test, and i hope i can pass. All the GODs in the world, SAVE ME!
Piano lesson was great. and here i am now slacking, blogging and watching TV at the same time. This is JC for you all kids. Thank goodness i have finished chinese and PW last year... life was horrible then.
Oh ya, and if i have my own house next time, i want a nice homely sweet romantic room as my bedroom, a cute, cheerful place for kids and perhaps. studies, and the last room, to be a classic and expensive looking aesthetic place- for my piano, and nice 4 corners with mirrors just like the ballet kids(: YAY! I will save more money, for me and i hope that i can lead a simple life, with orange(: well its orange, or myself.
hmm. okay, i am looking forward to the end of this week and cousin's wedding. i am still wondering what dress to wear so please give me your advice okay! have a nice week ahead(:
P.S. Unless you are orange, you have NO RIGHTS to read my messages.
love,
WenYan(:<3
6:27 AM
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Saturday:
Archery but i didn't shoot
Shopped for some wedding materials
WENYAN BOUGHT A DRESS
Went to grandma houseDid alot of stupid stuff there (trying to hint uncle, planning for our special events blah!)
Camwhoring with meimei((:
Sunday:
Met ade for gym pilates and sauna(:
wenyan eats porridge
Alright. that sounds quite boring but i realised something. the malay community is nice((: OMG hoped that chinese was like that too. Archery was fun with you guys- Meihui, Yanling, Anwar and Arief! can't imagine next year without you all...
Alright. now as i asked a favour from ade... here are the 2. please tell me which one should i wear for a wedding dinner. tag me okay!
and off to study WenYan.. GOGOGO!!
love,
WenYan(:<3
11:24 PM
Friday, May 1, 2009
HAPPY 48TH BIRTHDAY MUMMY!
Rights, today's is indeed LABOURS' day because grandma gave birth to mum on LABOURS day! early in the morning when we were deciding what to eat for breakfast, we decided to make doughnuts! Meimei read our all the ingredients that she GUESSED, the chef was mum and the slacker was ME(:
This was meimei's nice invention when she intends to sell it for 50cents,
lets just hope no one gets food poisoning...
And we set off for mum's birthday lunch at POPEYES at T3.
NEVER HAD SUCH NICE FOOD IN YJ):
Finally one of the photos with mum.
and here, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM(:
had loads of shopping today with my heels which means that my legs are aching now!! I'm sitting and blogging because i simply am too tired. Went to tampines and bugis and walked for like 6 hours?! Mummy and meimei bought like super loads of things, like seriously, LOADS.
And thanks SG23. i really love you guys. i seriously thank you all. THANK YOU VERY MUCH and thanks Ms Wong for standing by me. I really can't thank you all enough(: i am feeling much better now. sorry to have troubled you guys.. heard from my grandma i did quite some rubbish but yes, thanks for being sane beside me. I really appreciate that much!(:
Sometimes, I really wonder whether I have done something wrong. I really don’t know what’s wrong and what can I do to save this. This is not a good feeling. I hate this. I never wanted to neglect you, even now. I pray i’ll have the strength to continue. I am drained from day to day. Feel worse than a friend. I'm still waiting. What should i do now? God, please save me.
newest and coolest- Body Marking
Although we got nothing but this is like COP 
and the nice green shirt(:
uncles and DAD!
HERE WE ARE! the beauty forever(:
Look at Clison's face when dad ATTEMPTED TO CARRY HIM..
My ever nice 4th Uncle, STAY CHEERFUL!!
now he looks like the thailand PM yeah? ahah!
and last pic at RENDEZVOUS(:
And we set off for mum's birthday lunch at POPEYES at T3. 
Finally one of the photos with mum.
and here, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM(: