i just came back from studying with franco, weiliang, yx and kq and winnie too. yes, it was just extremely coincidental. i dont understand why, there's so much coincidence in the world. yes, maybe its god's will.
received the news about quite some things recently. cant believe things are all planned this way. message sent were not received. important messages. misunderstandings never fail to rise. things that i treasure were lost. things that i say were changed. so many things- perhaps it was coincidental. i dont know why i dont know how.
i feel like a ultimate loser now. i have everything and i have nothing. i have everything material. i have money, i have everything i wanted. i am not contented. i have all the luxuries. i have the chance to go overseas, i have the chance to study. i have the chance to eat and i have the chance to live. but seriously, i dont really care about it. i never appreciate such things. maybe its a moment i am enjoying but i dont see why i am doing such things.
i feel so lonely. i feel like crying. i feel like dying. i am so tired. i am so weak. nothing seem to be right for me. everyone's lying to me. please do not pity me, please do not lie to me, please do not tell me the truth. i dont want to help others, i dont want to be nice. i dont want to smile, i dont want to cry. i dont want to write, i dont want to type. i dont want to see, i dont want to hear.
People Change:
Four people visit the same scene in different seasons.
One may say, it is very good.
One may say, it is hot and not so exciting.
One may say, it is picturesque.
One may say, it is so cold, not much going on!
- In our society; Some people may be badly behaved when young, but it does not mean that they are always like that.
- Some may be doing bad-deeds before, that does not mean they can not change for the better.
- Surely, there is always a bright side in each person, why not give them a chance to help them to become a better person.
Every little does help a lot.
above is some buddhist teaching. obviously i am not so into it. i read it. i understood. i did not feel anything. i hate to lie. i did. i hate myself.
love,
WenYan(:<3
